Penis Pop-Ups - 10 Things to Do with an Unwanted Erection

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    Jan 27, 2014
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Penis Pop-Ups - 10 Things to Do with an Unwanted Erection Photo by John Dugan

A naturally red penis is a happy penis; when that blood rushes into the organ, it becomes flushed with excitement, gets erect and is ready for action. Unfortunately, a man’s penis thinks with a mind of its own and keeps its own schedule, and this which may not always be the same as its owner’s. A guy may think that popping an obvious boner in the middle of an important presentation is not the best idea, but his penis may just not give a rap about his opinion on the matter. Of course, frequent erections are a sign of good penis health, but that still doesn’t mean the unwanted ones are welcome.

Are they really "unwanted"?

Some men would argue that there’s no such thing as an unwanted erection. They’re penis-proud and unashamed; if they are sporting erections that are tenting their crotches, it’s just an opportunity for them to celebrate their maleness. What do they care?

But not every man is so comfortable with spontaneous erections. For these men, the following suggestions are offered for dealing with a pop-up penis. (And no, these are not meant to be taken seriously!)

1. A man who has spent a great deal of time preparing a knock-out presentation doesn’t want his excitable trouser snake to steal the limelight. Instead, he makes it part of the show by whipping it out and using it as a "pointer" to draw attention to salient facts in his presentation. It will definitely make it memorable.

2. When a man finds himself tumescent when naked with other men - in the locker room or the sauna, for example - he can look for a similarly engorged man and challenge him to a crotch-based swordfight.

3. An erection while washing the dishes gives a man a perfect place to hang his drying towel.

4. It’s also a handy place to hang a piece of laundry to dry.

5. An erection and a flashlight are all that are required for endless fun creating shadow puppets: penises lend themselves especially well to creating giraffes, trees and missiles.

6. In the right circumstances, an unwanted erection can be a guy’s ticket to proving himself a hero. If the dam has developed a little hole or the boat has sprung a leak, a solid erection is a handy way to plug it up and save the day.

7. That erection can be a lifesaver if a man is a modern-day David facing a new Goliath. Who carries a slingshot nowadays? Nobody. But if a man puts a rock on his hard penis, pulls it down as far as it will go, then releases it, then he has a built-in slingshot.

8. If the erection occurs during a fireworks show, a man can simply pull it out. It’s so red and cylindrical that people will assume it’s just another roman candle for use in the show.

9. A man who is a stage magician has it easy. He need simply paint his penis black with a white tip. If it becomes engorged, he can pull it out for use a spare magic wand.

10. A man who is especially gifted in the penis length and firmness department can use that unwanted erection when in a pool hall. It’s bound to work better than a traditional pool cue, as a penis is on much more familiar terms with how balls roll.

A healthy red penis is more often welcome than not, of course. And maintaining good penis health is crucial for every man. The regular use of a high quality penis vitamin cream (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil) is an excellent way to maintain that health. Men should look for a cream that includes vitamin C, as this is an important structural component of blood vessels. As well, the cream should include a powerful antioxidant, such as alpha lipoic acid, to offset harmful oxidative processes that can affect the penis.

Author's Profile

Visit for more information about treating common penis health problems, including soreness, redness and loss of penis sensation. John Dugan is a professional writer who specializes in men's health issues and is an ongoing contributing writer to numerous online web sites.

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