Seven Sex Talk Guidelines - Questions to Ask a Partner before Doing the Deed

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    Feb 14, 2014
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Seven Sex Talk Guidelines - Questions to Ask a Partner before Doing the Deed Photo by John Dugan

When things are getting hot and heavy, the last thing either partner wants to do is sit down and have a serious conversation about their sex lives: past, present, and future. However, assuming the tryst isn’t a complete spur-of-the-moment deed that is sure to be one-night-stand situation, it is important to have "the sex talk" well in advance, lest one end up with a life-long reminder of this moment of passion in the form of a sexually transmitted infection or unwanted pregnancy. For the record, even if both partners are in favor of a single night hook-up, this is no reason not to use protection - and perhaps even more reason to do so, as such wild spirits may be more likely to have a history of sexual risk-taking, which statistically increases their chance of infection of some type. It is above all important to stay healthy; after all a healthy penis is important for a healthy sex life.

Are they a virgin? A potential partner may seem experienced, but it is better to ask if they are experienced than to assume they are; after all, taking someone’s v-card is a whole different ballgame. A female losing her virginity may experience pain, and even bleeding, so a man will certainly want to know if such a thing is a possibility.

How many other partners have there been? Not only is it wise to know how many partners have been there before, it is a good idea to know how many partners a person has had since their last sexually transmitted infection (STI) screen. Remember, when a couple decides to have sex, they are not just sleeping with each other; they are sleeping with every person that partner has been with, and the people their partners were with, and so on and so forth. If any number of those people had an infection, it could have been passed along from person to person.

When was their last STI screen? Where they tested for HIV? A sexually active person who is having sex with multiple partners should be screened every 6 months at a minimum - more frequently if they have reason to believe they were exposed (i.e. sex with partner who was infected, a condom that broke, etc.). It is important to specifically ask about the HIV/AIDS screen as well.

Have they ever tested positive for an STI? Was it treated? This doesn’t necessarily have to be a deal breaker if a partner was positive, but it is his or her responsibility to inform all new partners if they have had an infection so they can make an informed decision about whether they want to proceed or not. In the cases of something like herpes, it is also important to know when their last outbreak was and how the infection is being treated or controlled.

There are condoms, right? This one is a no-brainer. It is important to establish that safe sex is important prior to starting a sexual relationship, so the standard is set from the beginning.

What about hormonal birth control? Men starting a relationship with a woman should ask her if she is on a type of hormonal birth control. Condoms are, of course, the first line of defense, but it is good to know if there is a backup in place.

What sexual activities are okay? What is off limits? Finally, the fun part! It is good to know what activities the partner prefers or enjoys so the sexual experience is comfortable for both partners. Likewise, if something is a big no-no, it should be put on the table at the beginning so there isn’t an awkward moment later on in the bedroom.

Keeping the penis healthy

In addition to using condoms and consistently getting STI screens to keep the penis healthy, a man can take it one step further by using a penis health formula (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil) on a daily basis that is packed with vitamins and other nutrients to keep the skin soft and smooth and reduce the risk of surface abrasions and other injuries. A quality penis crème can also improve the sensitivity and appearance of the manhood - something that can benefit all men.

Author's Profile

Visit for more information about treating common penis health problems, including soreness, redness and loss of penis sensation. John Dugan is a professional writer who specializes in men's health issues and is an ongoing contributing writer to numerous online web sites.

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