Secrets to Orgasm Success - Help for Guys Who Cannot Climax with a Partner

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    Jan 01, 2014
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Secrets to Orgasm Success - Help for Guys Who Cannot Climax with a Partner Photo by John Dugan

For many people, masturbation and sex go hand-in-hand. They readily (and happily) engage in both acts as part of the full spectrum of the sexual experience. For others, sex and masturbation are mutually exclusive; if one is having sex, why the need to masturbate? While many people are lucky enough to be able to get the job done no matter what route they take, there are a good number of men, and especially women, who can only experience a sexual release through one of these techniques. People who struggle with climaxing typically find that orgasms can be reached during masturbation, but not sex. Individuals who fall into this category may find themselves frustrated with their sex lives, and they may even withdraw from sex, which can lead to relationship problems. In the following sections, some solutions to this problem are offered, as well as tips on how a healthy penis can keep one’s sex life on the up-and-up.

Why does my partner orgasm during masturbation, but not sex?

That’s simple: they know exactly what they like! Most people’s first sexual experiences are of the solo variety, not the partnered kind; this means they learn exactly how to pleasure themselves from the get-go. They often become experts in using the pace, pressure, and technique needed to reach orgasm. When switching to a sexual relationship, things are not always so easy. Though our partners may mean well, let’s be honest; they don’t always have the best technique. Positions can be awkward and uncomfortable, and if each partner appreciates a different pace or pressure, they may not align sexually, which means one person may consistently fall flat when it comes to the big O.

What are some ways to change our sex life so both partners orgasm?

  • Talk! Unfortunately, for many couples, talking about sexual likes and dislikes falls under the category of embarrassing. Men and women alike may also be afraid that if they critique their partners, they will be hurt or think they are bad lovers. But the truth is, one can very much enjoy what is happening sexually, but still not reach climax. No one should be afraid to give suggestions and redirect one’s partner - especially if a little tweak in the routine can help one to get there more often.
  • Lay off the self-love for a bit. Occasionally, individuals are so proficient at masturbation that they come to rely on a certain technique that simply cannot be replicated during sex. For instance, the rapid-fire fast and furious masturbation a man performs on himself likely can’t be sustained by his partner. Likewise, the strong buzz buzz of a female vibrator cannot be replicated by her partner -- no matter how good he is with his hands. If one comes to rely on a unique type of stimulation to reach orgasm, it will be very difficult to climax during regular sex, as the genitals are desensitized to this less intense type of stimulation. The best way to solve this problem is to use those super-intense types of stimulation sparingly, so that one’s body can once again appreciate different, less-intense types of simulation.
  • Sex-periment! That’s right, if at first one doesn’t succeed - try, try again! Try different positions, techniques and even locations to try to spice up the love life; after all, variety is the spice of life!

Does the health of the penis impact one’s sex life?

Absolutely. The penis is a man’s love organ; if it isn’t healthy, how can the sex life be healthy? To keep the penis healthy, a man should focus on improving and maintaining his overall health. Circulation is key to a healthy erection, so a man should stop smoking, minimize alcohol intake, exercise regularly, keep his weight in check and eat a balanced diet to keep the blood pumping down south. Using a daily penis health cream (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil) is also important to the health of the penis. A penis cream containing L-Arginine can help maintain and improve a man’s circulation to his love stick - keeping it in full blood supply for a healthier erection.

Author's Profile

Visit for more information about treating common penis health problems, including soreness, redness and loss of penis sensation. John Dugan is a professional writer who specializes in men's health issues and is an ongoing contributing writer to numerous online web sites.

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