Sex Etiquette for the Healthy Male Setting Boundaries for Roommates and Shared Spaces

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    Jun 10, 2014
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Sex Etiquette for the Healthy Male Setting Boundaries for Roommates and Shared Spaces Photo by John Dugan

In many cases, having a roommate can be a great bonding experience, but sometimes - when a dude has his engorged red penis on display at inappropriate times, for example - it can be awkward and irritating. Roommates naturally have differences that they have to sort out, such as doing dishes and taking out the garbage; but the more delicate matter of setting up guidelines for sex etiquette and how it impacts housemates is essential. Sexual activity, whether masturbation or partner-centered, is natural and a key component of penis health; but mates need to come to a consensus on how that activity plays out in the apartment, dorm room, frat house or home.

Things to consider

Sometimes, people become roomies when they have already known each other for years, and they may already know what’s to be expected from each other in terms of sexual activity. Other times, two guys may think they know each other, but discover this isn’t so true once they start living together. And, of course, sometimes - especially at college - two dudes live together who are total strangers.

In any of these cases, there are things that need to be talked about concerning sex and the living situation. Among these are:

- How open is each roommate about sex? Some guys keep this part of their lives intensely private and may not want to talk about it at all. Others like nothing better than getting into hours-long discussions in which the participants swap stories about their favorite sexual experiences, fantasies, goals, etc.

- How open is each roommate about nudity? Some guys who don’t open up about sex may still be fine with nudity; some dudes who talk all day about "getting action" may nevertheless be not so comfortable being unclothed in front of another guy, or vice versa. But even if there is a general comfort with nudity, is there a limit: is walking to and from the shower naked acceptable, but eating breakfast in the buff stretching things?

- Masturbation. Yes, every guy masturbates, but not every guy is comfortable with it. Setting up boundaries here is important: If one roommate has the attitude of "I don’t care who sees my hard red penis, so I masturbate with my door open all the time" and the other roommate feels uncomfortable with this arrangement, the first roommate needs to respect the second’s wishes - or look for another living situation with an open masturbator.

- Partner sex. What happens when a roommate brings a date home? Are the living quarters ample enough that both roomies can be home without cramping the other’s style? If they share a studio or small dorm room with no separate bedrooms, what arrangements do they need to make for privacy? Often, a roommate may pick up a date on the spur of the moment; a system needs to be set up to handle this eventuality. A traditional tip-off has been to leave a clue - such as a sock - hanging on the door handle when the room is in "private use." Nowadays, a text message or email may do the trick just as well. Remember, however, that a dude who is much more sexually active than his roommate needs to be considerate: keeping a roomie out of the apartment six nights in a row is bound to build resentment.

In situations in which the roommates have plenty of privacy, there is still a need to alert a mate to the presence of a third party in the apartment. Otherwise, he might come down to breakfast sporting morning wood, only to discover a stranger blushing at the sight.

One other consideration: roommates should share the importance of maintaining a healthy penis and can let their mates know the need for incorporating a quality penis health cream (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil) into a daily regimen. The best creams include acetyl L-carnitine, which helps restore sensitivity to penises which have experienced nerve damage from too much rough handling. Also important in a cream: L-arginine, which lends a hand to keeping vital penis blood flow working properly.

Author's Profile

Visit for more information about treating common penis health problems, including soreness, redness and loss of penis sensation. John Dugan is a professional writer who specializes in men's health issues and is an ongoing contributing writer to numerous online web sites.

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