Key Steps to Moving On From Divorce
You never thought this moment would happen: you and your spouse are filing for divorce. It can be easy to ask yourself "what did I do wrong", but that kind of thinking hinders the process of coping with divorce depression. It is one of the most stressful events to ever occur in anyone's life, and there's no need to add to it with self-doubt and blaming. Without moving on from divorce, you can suffer from chronic health problems, such as heart disease and diabetes.
Your marriage may be over, but that doesn't mean your life is. It is possible to become happily divorced if you're willing to take care of yourself and the quality of your life. Here are a few suggestions you can take into consideration in starting your divorce recovery before your health is jeopardized.
There's no better way to start the healing process than by getting rid of all those reminders. Empty every drawer, closet and box that you have that may still contain some of your partner's possessions, and get rid of it all. Coping with divorce depression requires you to start fresh, with no threads tying you back to the memories of your marriage. This process doesn't have to be done all at once, but at least plan to do some of it every day. By getting rid of the past, you're creating a space for your new life in the future.
It may seem impossible to drag yourself out of bed every day after a divorce, but there's no better way to begin the divorce recovery process than gritting your teeth and becoming involved in something. Take a part-time job or become part of a community (such as bowling, bridge clubs, or civic groups) that places you in a position to interact with other people. It can help you to be part of a fresh environment and meet new people who aren't aware of your situation. Soon, you'll realize that there is a new life waiting for you outside of being divorced.
You're going to have to develop a thick skin in the coming months after your divorce. Unsolicited advice from friends and family is somewhat inevitable as everyone always has something to say. Learn to pick out who is providing you with helpful advice and who is simply venting about their ex-spouse. Your friends and family should be there to help you get over the hurdle, not hinder your moving on from divorce.
The grieving process of a divorce should be treated as if there were a death, so it's inevitable that you'll experience the same four phases: grief, anger, denial, and acceptance. After all, it is the death of your relationship. But that doesn't mean that your life has ended. Take the time to grieve in your own way, but learn to wean yourself away from those mechanisms of self-blame. In order to start the process of coping with divorce depression, you have to want to create a new life with yourself. The sooner, the better, until you can finally consider yourself happily divorced.
