Sex Drive Fails and What to Do About Them - Learning from No

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    Jun 11, 2014
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Sex Drive Fails and What to Do About Them - Learning from No Photo by John Dugan

No guy likes ending up with a frustrated, sore penis, as happens when that penis is primed and ready for action but finds itself unexpectedly turned down and sent to the cold showers. Nevertheless, having a little patience in these situations can help a guy learn a number of things that can aid him in the future. While many of the issues concerning penis health focus on the physical health of the tool itself, the emotional maturity of a man also comes into play, and learning patience and acceptance is a hallmark of such maturity, even when it comes to the overwhelming nature of his sex drive.

Yes, it’s frustrating.

When a guy gets revved up and gets his engines racing, he has his mind set on a certain goal - making it into bed with a perceived potential partner. In this state, men tend to be very single-minded; sometimes this gets so extreme that the penis takes control away from the brain and all thought of anything other than scoring (and preferably scoring big) gets tossed out the window.

But at the same time, humans are designed with a brain that functions on a higher level than that of any other species; a man is more than a rutting animal, and he needs to realize that there are emotional and social consequences related to his sexual escapades. This dual responsibility - to answer to both the sex drive and the brain - creates a conflict that can be extremely frustrating for a man. Yet in the long run, he can grow from this experience with patience and understanding.

Go on from "no."

Looking at a situation where a man and his partner have gotten to a situation where sexual activity is a likely prospect, what can a man learn when his partner suddenly turns the tables and says she is no longer interested in progressing to that activity?

What brought about the "no?"

- Misinterpretation. This is very important. Did the man misread the signals and assume there was significantly more interest on her part than there actually was? A reality check here can help a guy learn from his mistake and keep this scenario from recurring.

- Something he said/did. Perhaps there was a moment when an action or word from the man triggered this change of heart. Sometimes this can be easy to spot: a guy may express a certain opinion, talk "dirty" or place his hands or body in a particular position and can feel the fire from his partner turn suddenly to ice. Other times, it may be less obvious: if that is the case, a guy should try to find out what happened - but to do so in a non-confrontational manner: "You know, I thought things were going fine. Can you tell me if I said or did something that made you feel differently toward me?"

- Something outside of his control. And sometimes a woman can change her mind for reasons that are beyond a man’s power to change. There can be many reasons for this: she may be inexperienced, conflicted, unsure, etc. Perhaps she just wants to move at a slower rate than the man, but may only have come to this decision in the heat of the moment. Or she just may have received a signal that she herself doesn’t fully understand which says that this is not how she wants to proceed right now. This last situation can be the most frustrating, but a mature man should respect this; he knows that not everything that happens is a reflection or comment on him or his sensuality.

Left alone with his erect, sore penis, a man nevertheless can gain personal growth and maturity from the experience. Aside from learning to cool his sex drive, part of having a mature attitude toward his member is maintaining a regular manhood health regimen; using a first rate penis vitamin cream (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil) is essential here. The appropriate cream will include a high end emollient like shea butter to aid penis skin rejuvenation. Also essential in any good cream: neuroprotective ingredients such as acetyl L carnitine, to deal with the peripheral nerve damage that many active penises encounter.

Author's Profile

Visit for more information about treating common penis health problems, including soreness, redness and loss of penis sensation. John Dugan is a professional writer who specializes in men's health issues and is an ongoing contributing writer to numerous online web sites.

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